It starts with Disney Mom Tan-lines and ends with a bloody nose

Allow me to paint the picture for you…. I’m carrying an extra 5-10 pounds on my stomach, thighs, and rear and I officially don’t fit into one of the pairs of shorts I packed and brought along with me. Apparently, the tremendous amount of walking did not counteract the mass amounts of fried food and desserts I have consumed. I have tan lines. A sock line because I’ve been in socks and tennis shoes more days than I’m use to, a shoulder strap line- which lies right where the backpack ends and sun-on-arm begins, and a short line at exactly a five inch inseam- because that’s the length of shorts they sell in the mom section at Target. I have said things like “If you lick me one more time, I won’t carry you” and “if you aren’t nice to your sister, I’m telling Mickey Mouse” far more times than I ever thought I would. I’ve traded pins with strangers and I’ve worn shirts that say “mommy” and “JLC”- ordered on Etsy- that strategically match the other members in my family. I’ve agreed to cotton candy before bed, and ice cream at breakfast. To make a long story short, we are at the end of our five day park hopper pass at Disney. 

The kids are done. As of today, we are at 4.5 on the “1 to 5” Meltdown scale, and that’s for the smaller, more tolerant, child. Accepting the fact that we wouldn’t be able to get the girls to go out in public and act, somewhat, like normal human beings- James and I decided we better stay in tonight. We had a lot of the “Quick Service” meals to use up, so we each set out on our missions. James stayed in the hotel room to bath and occupy the children- while I ventured out in search of dinner and sanity. 

First stop, the restroom where I hid for a few minutes and scrolled through facebook. Don’t judge me, I needed a minute of alone time without a tiny person hanging on me, cutting in front of me in the toilet line, or asking to play on my phone- 1 pt on the sanity scale. Second stop, the market place, where I stocked up on kids cheese pizza, hummus wraps, and cupcakes (and now we know why those shorts don’t fit). Third stop, another restaurant location for a pulled pork sandwich with fries- which would complete our dinner for four. But, wait, the last place also served drinks- and since I’m on vacation and have not had one minute to myself, I thought, what the heck. I’m going to order this $9 drink, and enjoy it while I wait for that pulled pork sandwich to be made. I made it through 1/2 of the tasty beverage before the sandwich order was complete (they are fast around here- another 1/2 pt on the sanity scale) and I made my way back to the room.

James had both girls bathed and had started a game where he picked them up and playfully dropped them on the bed. The girls love this, but apparently Emmy landed the wrong way, bumped her nose, and it started bleeding. She has nose bleeds all of the time, so this really isn’t a big deal, and James clearly picked her up quickly because he had blood on his t-shirt. When I walked in with my bag of food and half of a drink, James said “oh I see you stopped for a drink too.” Right then the girls ran up (laughing and all cleaned up) and said “Emmy got a bloody nose because Daddy threw her on the bed.” Without missing a beat, I turned to James and said “If you don’t judge me for my beverage pit-stop, I won’t judge you for giving our child a bloody nose… deal?” “Deal!” we shook on it, ate dinner on the patio, turned on the Disney resort’s bedtime story, and put the girls to bed by 8:30 PM, just in time for James and I to see fireworks from our hotel balcony. 

While my sweet sister and brother-in-law (who have spoiled and loved on the the girls this entire trip) enjoy their date night… Bloody noses and indulgent beverages is how the Clauser Clan rounded out our Disney vacation…in addition to making memories that will last a lifetime…. and, I wouldn’t have it any other way *Cheers.*